Saturday, April 23, 2005
cough cough cough ..... coughing like crazy... argh. my throst is so itchy tt i cant stop coughing...argh. hab veen sick for so long le...when can i finally get well?? argh.
a sad day for me....sad sad. tired..and realli tired...
the word "trust". i trust ppl easily...some may say i gullible..but once you lose it...i'll not trust you again...never ever! u may do things to try to let me trust u sgain..even if i want to i will be reluctant to...sometimes, you may not mean it..i dun want to use the b-word, but i cant find another word to say it...a slip? not tt i noe tt anyone has just done tt to me nw...but juz the tot of that scares me....i'm frighten u see...
i look at the ppl ard me...wad some of them do realli shock me...and i have trusted them w some stuffs..nw, i'm not so sure if i can trust them again after witnessing this...
A and B are close frens..or mayb i shld use the word seems to be nw...den instead if standing up for tt person or at the very least keep quiet abt the matter...the A talk bad abt the B too...wad the...i was shocked. horrified. i started wondering if i can trust them w anything at all if all they turn out to be are juz 2-faced hypocrites. realli freaked. i'm unwilling to trust anyone nw...mayb juz one or two exceptions..ppl whom i trust alot and rely on...so if dey ever lose my trust..i duno wad i'll do..the entire world wld juz fall apart for me..i doubt that day will cum...and i hope it nv will..i trust them....
its realli damn scary to think of the complicated world we live in...where you will nv noe wad the others are realli thinking...dey could appear to be nice to you and everything..but deep dw inside u will nv noe wad dey think..a world where u cnt differentiate the reals from the fakes...i wana live simply...in a simple world where everything else in just simple...where i am able to trust the ppl ard me..i really want to...issit possible for me to do tt w/o getting myself hurt? i'm afraid of being hurt again...
++jingz++;
4/23/2005 10:59:00 PM
