+ moi memories +

Sunday, August 31, 2008

wall-e!!!!

heh.

i'm sick.
sure dun damn like it.
argh.
hates it.

i cant afford to be sick.
no time to be sick.

argh.
and baing sick makes me even more
...
...

arh!!!

ps. shall upload the photos some other time.
was cam-whoring. lol.

++jingz++;
8/31/2008 10:05:00 PM

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

jeecheng feels cheerier today.
hopefully things are indeed gg for a better turn.

*thinking o the ppl ard me
and how lucky i am to have them*

i like studying w ben and kelvin.
peer tutoring i guess.. :)
no stress.no nthing. smt even fun. :)
and ohs. not forgetting sugi.
and hellen! :)

i have yupei.
for everything.
be it studying.sharing.crapping.motivating
for enjoyment.for joy.for sorrow.for worries.
for companion.for just being thr.for understanding
sticking w each other thru thick and thin. :)

i have wynne.
frm no contact till freq contact.
till we're almost stuck on each other.
supporting each other thru everything.
*grins*

ginny.
who sends infreq sms
to ask how i am
and for get togethers.

jianwen.
whom i know i can count on.
*esp since she's so free having hols and doin nthing but slack*
a companion who shares.and brightens.

peck wuan.
always a listening ear.
someone who shares.
bz as she might be.
she nv fails to take out time for frens.

huemin and minshan and amanda.
protective frens who show silent support.

even jiaxin and seo.
asked me how i am when they saw me.
i can see the concern.
and silent support.

louis
sharing some o his "good deals"
lol.

hellen.
for studying.and understanding.
and sensitivity.
and even the infrequent
"你怎么还在想他呀？"
and tries to make me laugh and forget.
doing funny things.
telling jokes.
enjoyment and companionship.

kareen.
her silent support.
her not mentioning. :)

sugi.
w his world of thots.
and his dont think too much.
*ppl, pls check out his blog,
he wants readers!lol."

and even ...
who tries to help and advise.

did i miss out anyone?
really really lucky to have all these ppl.

think i did.
my family!
oh, how i love and hate them.
:)

my salsa classes.
i'm coming to really njy them.
*smiles*

ps. my instructor complemented "good" to me today :)
wells, perhaps it was a ez step anw.
he commented tt all o us picked up better today
but then again, it's a good thing right? :)
cheerios.

*think i've really hit pit bottom alr.
things are picking up. :)
they cant get any worse,can they?
they'll only get better right?
hopefully it wont go back down again*

oh ohs, think the down part is the dumb assignment i took up. :(
argh.
dont think o it.
and the stressed part is the dumb dumb mkting project.
which i dont think i can dont think of.
double argh.

++jingz++;
8/27/2008 01:02:00 AM

Monday, August 25, 2008

feels happy today.

in good company w pei and wynne.

shld have more of these :)

i love you girls!

++jingz++;
8/25/2008 01:12:00 AM

Sunday, August 24, 2008

this post is dedicated to ... (whoever you are)

*i am writing this in a sane state.

after the trauma i've gone thru

and the things i've thot through

in fact,

your tag has made me lost my slp.

i cldnt slp tt night after reading thru

fantastic isnt it?

i'm losing slp bcos of some unknown creature

sounds ridiculous.

ya, at least it wasnt him who gave me slpless night tt day

although he was still the reason partially.

it looks like i have a avid reader

unknown to myself

(well, actually i have no idea who reads my blog and who doesnt unless they tag. or msg me or call me or tell me tt they've read)

and so if you're actually a fren

who's concern abt me

pls talk to me instead

be a friend to me

and not some unknown person who tries to make logic of certain issues w/o understanding

i need frens to talk to

to keep me company

to support me thru this

to keep me sane.

and i'm super glad

tt i have such frens

frens who are willing to take out time just to acc me

make me happy

i'm really thkful to them

and i cldnt love them more

it's always when things goes bad tt you see who your frens truly are.

and i know i have them

but i cant keep sticking to them as well

i mean they'll have their own lives.

they'll have their own problems.

i cant possibly have them w me 24/7.

i have to tkc o myself

to keep myself in check

i'm grateful for them enough alr.

and i shld be moving on alr

this blog has become a place where i vent out.

to say wadeva's tt's has been bottling up in me

so pls...

pardon me*

i really appreciate you giving your advise

i know you meant well

but smt things are just easier said than done.

i mean it sounds stupid.

or perhaps can say it's just a matter of how you want to be.

that's logic.

that's sense.

that's w/o emotions as well.

how can you possibly take out sth so easily when you've put your heart and soul to it?

i've nv expect to have such a ending w him. i had thot we'd last.

so it came as a v big blow to me.

so big tt i have a hard time dealing w it.

you think i've not tried to live w it and carry on my life being happy?

i'd gladly love to. i dont want any more worries.

dont want anymore hurt.

dont want anymore sadness.

it's bcos the memories are too beautiful.

so beautiful tt i dont want to forget.

i want to keep them too.

to be able to hold and treasure them.

and keep it aside.

look back at it in the future and perhaps,

have a sweet smile to myself.

but bcos it's so beautiful.

it makes things even worse.

makes me miss them even more.

makes me more miserable.

tt's why i wish i'd forget.

wish tt i dont rmb.

and have no memories of it at all.

the good and the bad.

everything.

the good makes me sad

bcos i know it wont happen anymore.

the bad cos it's awful and you know for yourself if you chose to do things another way, things wld have turn out better. in other words, regret.

true to what's being said

"you wldnt know what you're missing if you hvt tried them"

and bcos i've experienced such things,

i miss them.

and missing them makes one miserable doesnt it?

in order not to miss them is not to have them in your memories

and not having these memories wld perhaps makes me a happier person?

cos i wont know it and wont miss it.

so thr's tt.

complicated world.

and thru this,

i see how protective my frens are of me again

how much they care

i'm really touched by them.

especially to wynne, pearly and yupei.

to those who've stood by me.

to those who've given their silent support.

for just being w me.

i love you my friends.

really grateful fot them.

on a lighter note:

went for adelynn''s bday celebration. see cake below. super nice la~ aww....

++jingz++;
8/24/2008 01:54:00 AM

Friday, August 22, 2008

i feel like just giving up

i feel dumb
i feel stupid
i feel like i'm always making the wrong choices

i suck.
big time.

i nv help much.
give more problems then help anws.

-stressed up-

i'm just downright lousy.

clumsy and slow.

a big klutz.

*how am i gg to dance well like tt?

dance - dream and passion.

i really really like dancing.

but

unable to do it?*

sighs

oh,damn. this is just fantastic.

i just want to run away.
to slp away all these dumb things.
be it r/s.
be it school.
be it work.
be it anything.
nothing's right.

i just want to scream

++jingz++;
8/22/2008 11:07:00 PM

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

just when i thot i was alr in the deepest pit
and things cannot get any worse

things just did.

why do all of these have to happen?

老天

请你不要再戏弄我了好吗？

jeecheng

真的感到很傻

他不可能在想你了

也不会再关心你了

不会再安慰你了

就算你突然间失踪了
他也不会知道
他也不会管

拍拖你不要再想他了好吗？

if you really feel tt you're better w/o me
i'd rather not being in your life at all
i will go away and stay away

and if getting to know more new girls is what you want
i have nthing to say too

i feel really dumb

++jingz++;
8/19/2008 01:53:00 AM

Sunday, August 17, 2008

jeecheng!!

wake up!

不可以再想他了

he shld not matter any more

i want to go for selective memory deletion

++jingz++;
8/17/2008 11:51:00 PM

Saturday, August 16, 2008

hellen told me i'm not like myself today
and asked me what happened

nothing happened

but just like tt

i have no idea why too

sighs

我到底何时才能把你忘掉？

*oh nos. i'm so nervous abt tmr*
*i have to have confidence*
*but i dont*

*how?*

*.sighs.*

++jingz++;
8/16/2008 12:26:00 AM

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

argh.
super embarrassed.

omged.
i forgot wad is simple turn.

guessed i shld have learnt in beginner class?
now in intermediate alr.

the instructor said
"ladies just do the simple turn"

when my partner tried to turn me

i didnt turn
and i asked him wad is simple turn

he looked so stunned.

oh mans.

and the instructor heard.
he looked even more stunned
he asked me to repeat my qn

double embarrasment.
oh oh mans

laugh.
fine.

anws,
i laughed too

hahahas

++jingz++;
8/13/2008 12:17:00 AM

Monday, August 11, 2008

stressed up life

i feel like screaming

*god save me*

当初我学着怎么爱你

现在

我必须学着怎么不爱你

那时

是你要我

教会我

怎么依赖你

让一个独立的女生

变成一个幸福和

有一个可以依靠一个男生的女生

现在

我必须学会怎么依赖回我自己

做回独立的我

我好不习惯

好辛苦

perhaps like what i've told yupei

i have had felt too much happiness

now perhaps it's time for me to feel otherwise

so a lil' hurt will seem v great to me

and this hurt

is so great

好大好大的痛

and perhaps

this big blow to me

will make me treasure the smallest happiness even more

to be able to feel them even stronger

i guess it's payback time for all the 快乐 that i've felt

all these will make me even more emotional

i'm glad i'm a human being w emotions and feelings

yet i wished i can just be one unemotional person

so i wont feel so much pain.

but i know i cant.

just like huemin said.

she wants to be able to feel as much

but she's just not as emotional.

and i'm unable to be like her.

just like she's unable to be like me.

我好想把一切一切都忘掉

那我就不会感觉到这么痛

但我舍得吗？

我不想和你在做朋友

想把你的一切一切都去除掉

但我忍心吗？

the fact is i have no idea

so lost

"It is easy to like one's qualities

but it takes one to love the flaws"

(frm huemin's blog)

i hate the fact tt i even love his flaws.

请教我如何怎么不去爱

++jingz++;
8/11/2008 12:07:00 AM

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

“世界上最远的距离

是

你在我面前而我。。。

却无法对你说声

我爱你”

这句话

我终于完完全全明白了

而那

是件难过的事

++jingz++;
8/05/2008 01:05:00 PM