Sunday, May 01, 2005
it has been quite s0ome time since i last blog...ok kel ley..i'm blogging again...and i promised it wld be long...cos too much stuffs happened....
Looking at the past entry..i feel as if I’ve bared myself entirely online…I’m learning to trust again...but its rather difficult..and seems like i have to be careful abt whom i tell things to....sigh. i realli eant to be able to trust the ppl...but wad can i do when more stuffs happen tt set me crawling back hiding in my shell totally??i'm realli depressed....to tt some1...i have cared for you so much tt u set me worrying abt you...i want to be thr for you thru the gd times and the bad...i tot thats's wad frens are for...instead you have chosen to hurt me..for more den once..i have cried bcos of you more than once...i'm so sad....so i've chosen to avoid you....not tok to you unless necessary...you have caused me enuff grieve..its realli not fair tt u can be happy and luffing when i'm so sad...i noe its a matter of choice whether to be happy or sad..but it is difficult...i try to be happy and i pretended to be..and tink when i pretended on thur...i appeared to be overly happy..which is the total opposite of how i am feeling...argh. i have chosen to be a happier person.. to set aside this bad memories..to forgive and forget..but i will not be as close to you as b4..i'm realli sorie if i'm hurting you by doing tt..but i realli dun wan get hurt again...i'm onli trying to protect myself..i'm sorie...wellz, you seem to do fine..all the bez, my dear fren....i'm sorie..i realli wished it was like wad pearly said..all a misunderstanding...but i noe it better..i'm realli sorie... thx pearly..for being my my side when i was upset..and for consoling me....
i duno if thr's any hope for choir to get gold for syf...i realli want to get that gold....so sad...mr liew dun even seem to be aiming for a gold..and tt is wad tt upsets me the most..i mean..i noe we arent good..and winnig is not everything...but i've..not i...but the whole choir...i wld say..every single one of us has put in alot of effort into the practices..coming to practices almost everyday (except sunday)..working hard so tt we can get a gold to prove the school how wrong they are to say tt we are lousy..we have put in sooooo much effort and yet u dun have any hope of a gold??? i noe its being practical..and we onli learnt one of the song after our concert at st andrews cathedral..we've managed to put up a concert withing two weeks of hard work..i believe we can do it now too..or am i beng too hopeful?? sigh.. i realli want to get that gold!! even for my dance in sec sch..we din even have evryday pracs and we got a silver...i have put in much more effort and hard work into dis syf and i realli want that gold..argh..i noe i've repeated it alot of times..sigh but i realli want it...i noe we arent at that pt yet...but can we at least try to work towards that goal - gold?? if we dun even aim for it..how are we gg to get it? for heaven sake, even a silver?? we nid to work towards a goal......lets all work hard k..
cuming to think abt it..i duno if i made a mistake by asking issac to saty...it seems selfish..i noe he has better prospects and future if he werent in this choir..and imagine if we din get a gold...its realli like wasting his talents here...it doesnt seem fair to pearly either...sigh..anw, pearl..cheerios k...dun gib up..and heck care those insignificant ppl who make ur life miserable....not worth ur energy...
ooh...ya..ytd. 30th april 2005.
yanghong gave me morning call and went for choir in the morning..yar..got full dress rehearsal..the jc1s got nicer gowns den us...sigh...better material...anw, mr liew is so nice...ok..hahaz.and yar..i set off half way to go for the volunteering work at the salvation army...took a cab dw..the driver told me onli nid abt 15mins..well, obviously not..cos i was late...and i'm wondering abt wad he say abt can reach one end of spore to the other end within 25 mins is true anot..cos fr outram mrt to tanan merah mrt oready took 20 mins...
aniwae, met up w seo and xiao yun first...jielin, syaf, stella, serena and amy came ltr....yar..had a fun time...helped w the ballon crafting..and i had my first meal of the day at 4 plus la....the session thr realli set me thinking...abt love, hate, fear and hope...and how much we value our familes and friends and everything else tt matter to us..some of the kids i see (same age as my bro) seems to be more mature den him.......got one pri 3 boy, he gave me such a deep impression i wanted to hug and comfort him...these kids have one of their parent in prison and they seem too young and innocent to understand...got one ger actually asked jielin where's her father...sighs. think our proposal to helped them out for their may camp chalet is approved..cant wait to see them again...
anw, i lost my purse on bus no. 2....i was so worried la...ok..was..cos i fd it back le~ thx seo! for accompanying me...and tammy, jielin, syaf, xiaoyun and serena for caring..and last but not least the malay lady - auntie hamilah? whose son picked up my purse..dey were part of the group which we volunteered our service to....
some fotos we took on the bus:
seo and me
jielin and her "pet dog" hahaz.....
seo's shoe broke when we were at chinatown..on quest to look for my purse...
her broken shoe:
we went ard looking for shoes..went to ck first..den got one pair she quite liked..cost abt 7.90 den decided to walk ard to see first...saw the same pair at the market...cost 6.50 but bargain until 6 onli...hahaz..first time bargain w/o my parents..not bad la although 0.5 onli..hahaz..here's how it look likes:
nice rite..hahaz.
anw, we were eating honey sea coconut...when i received the phone call from the malay lady informing me tt her son had fd my purse! yay! my mood was lifted immediately...hahaz. so i went to her hse to retreive form her today..hahaz. (^_^) *sorie seo..i noe the honey sea coconut is too sweet..but i got sweet tooth....sorie*
hmmz....sorie guys..for the super long entry..hahaz.
++jingz++;
5/01/2005 05:23:00 PM
