Sunday, July 10, 2005
i guess i'm realli emotionally unstable...perhaps i use my emotions too much...juz like wad my dad says..i'll onli get myself hurt..if i continue to "gan qing yong shi" but wad can i do?? i try not to..but tt'll be so unlike me..i'll feel so fake..how can we ever do things w/o putiing our feelings in it? it's not tt he say we shld not but not too much..but i do..whenever i do sth, i give my hundred and one percent then onli to get myself hurt? i duno la.... sighs.
wadeva i do is always wrong...i feel so stupid..so dumb..like this cannot..like that oso cannot..wad's wrong w using the com to listen to songs, to watch flash movies, to chat, to play games, to blog?? we, the children of spore oready dun hab much life besides doing these and to study...the com onli can beused for studies purposes?? i duno la..juz feel so restrained...
says abt being fair and not being bias..but you're obviously showing so..i dun feel any more love coming from you..i speak less to you bcos i dun wan to land in aother quarrel..i dun ans you and ignore you when you are obviously scolding me and nagging at me to prevent another conflict but you say i show more disrespect as i grow up.. i feel tt i'm everything you dont want..a dumb daughter tt cnt bring you glory i feel so inferior to both my siblings..you obviously treat them better..or perhaps its me tt thinks too much?? i hope so.. juz bcos you are iliterate, you keep using tt as an excuse to not understand us..me, in particular..
i've given up..wad do you want me to do?? i retort back when i do not agree w your view bcos i have my stand too..i feel differenty, and you say i'm always arguing w you..more frequently now..esp this yr..you say tt i've changed for the worse..and so now, i keep quiet whenever you hurl words at me..amd you say i'm showing you disrespect..wad am i suppose to do?? i juz feel so lost..perhaps i was juz a mistake you and dad had..i shld not be here..i onli bring more pain and worries to the ppl ard me..and as for you, mayb a waste of money too? wasted money to bring me up for 18 yrs....wasted your time and efforts to make me your ideal daughter...sighs.
pls ignore all my ramblings ppl, i guess i'm just too... i duno la...sorie. pls forgive me....
++jingz++;
7/10/2005 11:36:00 AM
