Saturday, September 17, 2005
finally..prelims are over! but i'm gona flunk the papers real bad...sighs. i can nv be compared to ... ... wellz. ya. sighs. actually, i shld be happy tt those dreaded papers are over...shld be more relief..only to have the a level to get over with..but i duno why i'm still so down..i try to be happier..but i aiya..i duno la..xian zai bian cheng you hao duo xin shi le~ sighs.
i dun even noe what is pre-occupying my mind so much..dun even noe wad i myself is thinking abt.. sighs. everything is my fault. no matter it is me or not me.. zhuo da jie de nv set gd example and yada yada yada...sighs. even my bro being materialistic, want buy bag oso my fault..cos i oso buy alot of bags...sighs. but they nv think.i work hard for it..it was either that or i saved up for a long long time..i worked for what i want..diffferent fr him...argh. now, its my fault. cant blame me for being a girl, can they?
i'm always the one to finish up all the food at home..no matter i am the last to eat anot..sure ask me to eat one..even if i'm darn full or have no appetite. my sis ar..onli one yr younger than me, always have no appetite for dinner..or bcos she eat outside le~ den i'm the one who hab to finish up the food. den if i come back late w no appetite, i still have to finish up the food myself. no one's willing to help me~ argh.
even if i'm not the one to make them unhappy, i'll still have to suffer the same fate as the ones who did. they will grumble my ear off....sighs. . i oso have my temper one k..thr's a limitation to my patience and all as well...i cant take it too..i'm only human...
if i ever retort back..it is my fault. if i keep quiet, it is oso my fault. i feel the immense pressure on me. i have to keep my cool. i cant lose it. ppl are watching me. looking at how i cope. i wont give up. i cant . i cant disappoint them. i have to uplive their expectations. i wld very much want to, but afraid tt i cant live up to it. sighs. i'm realli tired. really really tired.
i have feelings too. if u dun like ppl to treat you tt way, pls do not do it to me. i am not a dog, rang ni hu lai huan qu.so pls dont dump the thing on the floor and ask me to pick it up to keep. i wld appreciate it if u ask me to walk over and pass it to me instead. i believe you can see it in my face tt i was v upset by ur action. seriously, pls do not accuse me of doing what i am not as well. if you want to noe, u cld ask me nicely..and not accuse me...pls...
on the happier note, i'm glad i hab a gd time ytd.. the after-prelims celebration...
++jingz++;
9/17/2005 05:06:00 PM
