Sunday, August 24, 2008
this post is dedicated to ... (whoever you are)
*i am writing this in a sane state.
after the trauma i've gone thru
and the things i've thot through
in fact,
your tag has made me lost my slp.
i cldnt slp tt night after reading thru
fantastic isnt it?
i'm losing slp bcos of some unknown creature
sounds ridiculous.
ya, at least it wasnt him who gave me slpless night tt day
although he was still the reason partially.
it looks like i have a avid reader
unknown to myself
(well, actually i have no idea who reads my blog and who doesnt unless they tag. or msg me or call me or tell me tt they've read)
and so if you're actually a fren
who's concern abt me
pls talk to me instead
be a friend to me
and not some unknown person who tries to make logic of certain issues w/o understanding
i need frens to talk to
to keep me company
to support me thru this
to keep me sane.
and i'm super glad
tt i have such frens
frens who are willing to take out time just to acc me
make me happy
i'm really thkful to them
and i cldnt love them more
it's always when things goes bad tt you see who your frens truly are.
and i know i have them
but i cant keep sticking to them as well
i mean they'll have their own lives.
they'll have their own problems.
i cant possibly have them w me 24/7.
i have to tkc o myself
to keep myself in check
i'm grateful for them enough alr.
and i shld be moving on alr
this blog has become a place where i vent out.
to say wadeva's tt's has been bottling up in me
so pls...
pardon me*
i really appreciate you giving your advise
i know you meant well
but smt things are just easier said than done.
i mean it sounds stupid.
or perhaps can say it's just a matter of how you want to be.
that's logic.
that's sense.
that's w/o emotions as well.
how can you possibly take out sth so easily when you've put your heart and soul to it?
i've nv expect to have such a ending w him. i had thot we'd last.
so it came as a v big blow to me.
so big tt i have a hard time dealing w it.
you think i've not tried to live w it and carry on my life being happy?
i'd gladly love to. i dont want any more worries.
dont want anymore hurt.
dont want anymore sadness.
it's bcos the memories are too beautiful.
so beautiful tt i dont want to forget.
i want to keep them too.
to be able to hold and treasure them.
and keep it aside.
look back at it in the future and perhaps,
have a sweet smile to myself.
but bcos it's so beautiful.
it makes things even worse.
makes me miss them even more.
makes me more miserable.
tt's why i wish i'd forget.
wish tt i dont rmb.
and have no memories of it at all.
the good and the bad.
everything.
the good makes me sad
bcos i know it wont happen anymore.
the bad cos it's awful and you know for yourself if you chose to do things another way, things wld have turn out better. in other words, regret.
true to what's being said
"you wldnt know what you're missing if you hvt tried them"
and bcos i've experienced such things,
i miss them.
and missing them makes one miserable doesnt it?
in order not to miss them is not to have them in your memories
and not having these memories wld perhaps makes me a happier person?
cos i wont know it and wont miss it.
so thr's tt.
complicated world.
and thru this,
i see how protective my frens are of me again
how much they care
i'm really touched by them.
especially to wynne, pearly and yupei.
to those who've stood by me.
to those who've given their silent support.
for just being w me.
i love you my friends.
really grateful fot them.
on a lighter note:
went for adelynn''s bday celebration. see cake below. super nice la~ aww....
++jingz++;
8/24/2008 01:54:00 AM
