Monday, January 12, 2009
blame it on the song.
blame it on my big mouth.
just myself.
argh.
why did i even do tt?
i guess i just cldnt help myself.
i dont know why i did what i did
_______________________________
i think the sickness
has gotten to me.
eek.
_______________________________
and yes,
i think it's one-sided
_______________________________
你不觉得我们这样
其实是在脱离带水
藕断丝连吗？
unless tt is what you're trying to do.
to keep me by the side.
_______________________________
i dont want to know.
i want to know
i dont think i want to know.
what am i talking here?
_______________________________
i think i want the new year to be well
so badly
that i fear
_______________________________
i know i'm being bullied smt
and yet i still allow them to..
am i too nice or just being dumb?
_______________________________
been talking to a few ppl
been pondering alot
been thinking of what all these means to me
of the definitions
of the lines tt shld be drawn
love. relationships. friendships. family.
real. fake.
what does a r/s mean to me now?
what do i want out of it?
i'd love to have just a one and only.
but who knows?
i used to think tt
to spend time tgt is v impt
(not tt i'm saying it's not impt now)
but tt individual time is also impt
we need time and space as well
if not,
thr will be suffocation
spending time apart doesnt mean tt we dont care
nor that we doesnt have each other on the mind
used to believe tt control means care
but at times
we need to let go
to be able to let each other
do what they want to do
what they need to do
and believe tt spending time things tt req of us differently
doesnt mean there's no love, care and concern
to love,
i dont think there shld be restriction too
i think it's about being able to
let each other be themselves
still do the things they like
have their individual hobbies and time
yet come tgt to share and to care
and to do things both like as well
quarrel and forgive quickly
and not to bear grudges
to be open w each other
not hiding things
believe and trust.
surprises and romance.
quarrel and fight.
forgive and forget.
but not lessons learnt.
sweetness.bitterness.
i think to love is
to give a hundred percent o the heart
not the hundred percent o the time
and at the end of the day,
it's just knowing tt thr's someone out thr
loving you and caring for you.
and for that
you got to believe and trust
and friends?
how real.how fake.
how do you deem it??
i feel the fakeness somtimes.
and i feel fake myself smt.
disgust.
this world.
is full of pretense.
and you dont know how to
you may offend ppl
and you'll slowly perish if you happen to meet a powerful faker.
so there is a need to learn how to wayang
i feel so disgusted.
think wld rather avoid at all means
than to wayang.
i cant pretend
think i'd just die off soon
___________________________________
fakos. fakos. fakos.
___________________________________
i didnt know
___________________________________
what for go
if thr is no sense o belonging?
but if dont go,
how will have sense of belonging?
++jingz++;
1/12/2009 12:29:00 AM
